The year is now 5,025 A.E. (After the Extinction). I am the world’s first Cultural Custodian and the only official that is elected to any office of authority anywhere on the planet today. I have the duty of preserving the customs and traditions of our new society, though my name is unimportant to you.

The first thing we did was change the name of our planet from the ‘Earth’ to the new name - ‘Oceania’ - done because the planet is now more than ninety-five percent ocean, with less than five percent of it devoted to any land masses. When these do appear, we label them and name them as another Continent. Instead of the seven continents that our predecessors knew, we now enjoy two dozen of them, although they are much smaller than any of the old continents, like North America, South America, Australia, etc. They are growing every day, however, as the ocean levels slowly recede more and more.

I’m also quite happy to tell you that the plank-tonic life on Oceania has started to make a brilliant come back, gradually cleansing the air of the toxic gases our previous society poured forth from every square inch of the place. This massive layer of oceanic life is bringing the oxygen levels of the planet back to an acceptable level. We actually feel as though we can breathe again more and more every day. Our thinking is clearer and better, more concise, more optimistic and bright as more and more of the life-giving gases are expelled back into the makeup of the air we breathe.

The planet is also coming back in the number and variety of birds and animals that we find are sharing our home here once again. Some species, such as ducks and geese, dogs, cats, lions and tigers, hawks and eagles, horses, zebras, donkeys, elephants, bears, monkeys, we have selected for renewal from the DNA bank that Kevin LaValle preserved for us high up on Everest where the water never reached.

What you have read in this book about the fateful events of his life is the only book that we have produced so far. We may allow other books to be introduced to our people some day in the very distant future, but we are still highly reluctant to introduce any ideas into society that could lead us back onto the same path of destruction that our predecessors gave us. But, we deeply revere and respect the history and the magical events that took place to save us and preserve life here in its present form.

We have outlawed any kind of what was once called ‘Technology’, and which we now label as tools of the ‘Great Extinction’ and sometimes ‘The Eye of the Devil’.

I should also mention that as the old lands dry out and slowly emerge from the water, we are reminded of our predecessors’ excesses by all of the mountains of junk we find piled up around the old cities and towns, villages and hamlets. How you managed to produce in a few years the infinite number of so many senseless and destructive objects is beyond our comprehension. At least it serves to warn us every day never to go down that road again. In fact, we have made sure that we never even create roads like those, nor any customs, behaviors, habits that might encourage the path of another ‘Great Extinction’.

Whenever we find a little spare time, we spend it in recycling or repurposing some of the old metal, glass and plastic of cars and trucks into something truly useful like housing, farm equipment, food storage and habitat for many species. Recently, we’ve even found a way to create highly productive farms by terracing the junk so that we can get hundreds of acres of vegetables out of a single acre of land, more than enough to feed the fifty thousand souls that now inhabit the planet. (Yes, we’ve only allowed the population to double over almost three thousand years, for obvious reasons.)

Needless to say, this amazing productivity and bounty gives us all plenty of time to lay about lazily enjoying our friends and family, our many varieties of beer and wine, and the new weather, much gentler than ever before.

It no longer snows anywhere except at the poles. Rain is very gentle and lasts long enough to water the plants and no longer. We have not seen or heard thunder and lightning in several centuries. There are no hints of a hurricane, tornado, cyclone or even wind gusts of any major proportion anywhere. We’re especially proud of our amazing double rainbow sunsets that entertain us almost every night..

With ‘The Golden Rule’, still preserved over the centuries in our culture by oral tradition and with our highest respect for the land and every person or animal that lives upon it, there is no need for any other major rules, laws, punishments or anything beyond an occasional serious lecture for a youngling. This means there is no need for any Religion and certainly not any religious or spiritual dogma about any particular person, place or thing, except for one.

We live very modestly. Our homes are carefully sewn together with the help of our neighbors. When something goes wrong and needs repair, we all get together to fix whatever is broken. Whenever one of us goes astray and commits what you used to call a crime, we rally around that person and counsel him or her until they show the correct amount of remorse, make restitution and agree to never do whatever they did again. If they break their promise and do it again, we ratchet up the need for remorse and restitution. In extreme cases where the individual continues his or her nefarious ways, exile may become the final solution.

We never make any decisions nor move anywhere fast. Since we have abolished all Technology, we own nothing, nor make anything that could be called a machine. Our boats use the wind or human rowing power to move around the planet. Since, the world is nearly all water, this is the best way to travel anyway.

We enjoy our lives. We’re happy. We work hard, but we love what we do. We never do anything that would make us unhappy. We take only what we need to feed our families. When we take something out of the environment, we make sure we put back at least as much. We know from all the mistakes of the past that the more you desire, the more that things own you, therefore, the worse it will be for you, the planet and for society itself.

It’s also important to note that some of the first things we did as a society was to collect the last remains of those who were most responsible for saving the world and as soon as we could, we gave them a final memorial celebration that would have made them proud.

We eventually discovered the bodies of Lucy Tafoya, Bennett Fielding, Louden Nelson, Patty Messinger, George Cortez, Orson Sharona, Barry McNulty, Captain Daniels, Captain Black, the Sundstroms, several others, and even President For Life Romaine, amongst the debris. Much of their remains were preserved deep inside the hull of the Gerald R. Ford, also where we found this history you have now digested. All of it was neatly compressed and preserved on a thumb drive from what we believe to be Lucy Tafoya’s computer.

We carefully and reverently placed their remains onto a small raft of our own construction using flammable reeds and bamboo and just as the Vikings did in ages gone by for their most noted warriors, set it all on fire and pushed them out to sea where they would light up the night sky for miles.

Finally, I can proudly say that today, we all regard as the greatest thing that Kevin LaValle accomplished was to hand down to us the extremely amicable and harmonic traditions of the Om-Ong and the songs that derive from this most highly advanced mental discipline.

Occasionally, we are even blessed to receive visits by Hara-Camarra and his friends from Excelon. They seem to be near at hand at all times and willing to consult with us whenever we need them and we are always careful that we never disappoint them. With their aid and advice, we believe we will be able to steward Oceania in the manner she deserves for many millennia to come.

So, I will leave you with my favorite Om-Song from the Om-Ong. Wherever and whenever there are enough of us to share the greatest harmony in the Universe, there is Peace, Love and Hope.

Let us sing!

‘There are three and only three things,
worth living and dying for,
The first of these things,
is the planet-mother of us all.
The second of these things,
is the planet-mother of us all,
The third of these things,
is the planet-mother of us all.
But the greatest of these things,
is the mother-planet of us all,
(Repeat many times)



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